09 October 2012

Exclusive And Restricted (Originally Published 17 Jun 2008)

Current mood:bouncy


Miss Patti was the lucky winner of a lottery!  The prize: A free room at the new Water Club Tower at the Borgata Hotel/Casino/Spa!  And I was the lucky schmuck who was given access to this wonderful new upscale edifice, this paean of luxury, this exclusive and restricted "club" that sits on the edge of the bay right here on my little island of love!
And what a treat that was!
I got up early, the excitement building in me.  I love everything pretentious and I was anticipating this experience like a certain friend of mine who looks forward to silicone injections!  I took time to pack my new-ish little sack bag with several swim trunks and a change of clothes, I made sure I was manscaped to perfection, I planned every detail and sat, ready and waiting several hours before I had to meet Patti at the rail terminal.  I was antsy and couldn't contain myself.  I was sitting in my room in my swimtrunks forchrissakes and I needed to burn off this anticipation so I decided to wander.  After slathering every single part of my body in sunblock three-thousand, I exited the penthouse and wandered over to the Art of Flowers (where you should get all your floral needs) and rub my newfound fortune in their faces (and use the computer to enter a few entries into my Café).  I found Becky in a foul mood, she had been on hold for nearly an hour trying to get a Comcast representative on the phone to schedule a visit to fix her internet access.  She had been offline for two days at this point and she was NOT in a good mood.  Being offline means she's disconnected from the FTD floral orders that come through the computer.  That means she was losing business.  Not good.  I left her to her problems and wandered down the streets to the House of Hair (where you should get your tresses…well…tressed whenever you are in town) and told Margarita (tell her I sent you) about my upcoming day.

She was jealous as all hell!

And she should be!

I finally wandered through the city and made my way to the terminal, getting a pretzel and V-8 and sitting in the little café there to pass the time.  Miss Patti text messaged me that she was on the train and a few minutes later she arrived and we went outside to the shuttle buses to get…well…shuttled to the Borgata.  I hadn't a clue how to get to the Water Club tower so she led me through the labyrinth that is a casino and off we went, down this hallway where there are fabulous little shops, including this wonder Diamonds and Hearts jewelry shop.  Sparkle! Sparkle!
We walked in to the lobby where I immediately saw someone I knew that works there and I waved "hullo" and sauntered up with Miss Patti to the front desk to check in.  Of course, there was a bit of a problem.  They wanted a credit/debit card for a one hundred and fifty dollar deposit, which we didn't have but, after a bit of negotiating (and a ton of Mortimer charm), we had keycards in hand.  We walked over to the lovely security guard, who opened the door to the elevator area and we were whisked up to the eighth floor.  I say "whisked" because the lift was so fast, we both got a head rush!  We walked down the hall to our room and opened the door to…luxury!
The bathroom was wonderful, the shower had a rainfall showerhead, which was amazing, the bath products were arranged along a blue ceramic tray (very nice) and the water glasses were hand blown.  That was a nice touch.
The room had a beautiful live white orchids on the dresser and handsome furnishings, the beds were sky-high and there were chocolate brown leather accent pillows!  Our view was of the bay, looking over the windmill farm and facing west and we had a beautiful view of the setting sun later in the day.  We settled in and got ready. Miss Patti put on her very first bathing suit, a cute little seventies print two-piece, and we found ourselves getting another elevator head rush back to the lobby.  The security guard opened the doors again, we found the pools where another security guard opened the door for us and we dived in!  Well, not literally, because the pools were not deep enough but you get the idea.  We looked over the indoor infinity pool with the simulated rainfall, the lap pool and the hot tubs and then went outside to the larger outdoor infinity pool and the other triangle shaped standard pool.  The pool boys/girls were too cute, the lounge chairs were totally faboo, each had a huge white towel with "The Water Club" imprinted on it and a huge green towel rolled up to use to well…towel off when you're done taking a dip.  On each and every chair was a yellow flowered stem, a nice touch.  We decided on the outdoor infinity pool, with the sand and reserved cabanas to start.

And we swam. 

And we swam. 

In ALL the pools!

It was too much fun.  We finally went back upstairs, the pool staff was changing the mood by putting out candle lanterns in specific places throughout the pool area since the sun was setting and they're open until eight o'clock.  Miss Patti went back downstairs to meet up with her beau and a friend of theirs.  I went to get some more ice since we brought our own cock…tails and had no intention WHAT-SO-EVER of taking anything out of the minibar.  We didn't even go near it.  If anything was removed for more than thirty seconds (it was all on a sensor tray) we would be charged with it and it was all WAY overpriced. On my way back, the keycard didn't work.  I had accidentally demagnetized it when we were at the pool when I put it with me mobile.  I traipsed downstairs in my bare feet to get the card redone.  The lovely clerk was so sweet to compliment my toes!  See what total manscaping (and pedicuring) can do; it gets you compliments!

Miss Patti arrived shortly after I got back upstairs.  I took a picture of the beautiful sunset from our window and she, Doug and I went back to the pools and enjoyed ourselves once again.

The three prunes went back up to the room and got ready for the night. I had to work but Miss Patti and I went first to the Pool Bar at Harrah's. My former boss, Steve, gave us some drink tickets and we ordered, chatted, gossiped and drank!  I had to leave, Patti walked me to the Jitney stop and off I went to work. 


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