06 March 2007

A Dying Breed (R)

The amount of the world's population with the gene for red hair is 4%. The Oxford Hair Foundation predicts that natural redheads may become extinct by the year 2100.

SAVE THE REDHEADS! I AM AVAILABLE FOR WEEKENDS, PARTIES AND SPECIAL EVENTS!

For Little Bear, My Friend Who Loves Surveys! (R)

random things..
your birthday and age?:

15 May 1978
shoe size?:
Nine and one half.
piercings and tattoos?:
Seven piercings and no ink, ever!
sexual orientation?:
What are the choices? Considering his name was Vincent, I believe that makes me gay.
maiden name?:
That would assume I am a woman. Not today, dahling.

have you ever or do you?
eating disorder?:

No.
have kids?:
Only with a fine white wine.
broken a bone?:
No but, Delio cracked a rib of mine.
been in real love?:
Truly, madly, deeply!
been stalked?:
Yes. You only know you have arrived when you begin to have stalkers.
slept with a married man or woman?:
Yes. They were married to each other.

been in a wedding?:
Yes, two.
do you drink?:
Is the pope Catholic? Do bears shit in the woods? Is the world round? Hell yes!

smoke?:
No, never.
your best friend?:
Is not talking to me.
do you like surprises?:
Not really.
do you have any gay friends?:
Not as many as you'd think!
who do you fight with the most?:
Depends. Rightnow, Patti but usually it's Delio, he pisses me off a lot.

last:
person you called?:
My GM.
person who called you?:
Delio.
person you texted?:
Kennie telling him that Vincent was French-Canadian, not German.
person who texted you, and what did it say?:
Delio asking if I wanted some of Nefertiti's birthday cake.
person you yelled at?:
Miss Patti. She still isn't talking to me.
person you hugged?:
Vincent.
person you kissed?:
Vincent. In "that" way.
person you wanted to punch?:
Delio. He always makes me want to punch him for something or other.
movie you saw?:
"The Children of Men".
concert you were at?
Damn, I can't remember.
last thing you ate?:
A bowl of Kix cereal.

favorites?
Meal?:
Hmm...it depends on where I am at. Gnocchi with bottle of house red wine at Carlo's in Boston, pulled pork chimichanga with a pitcher of ultimate tequilas at Los Amigos in Atlantic City.
exercise?:
The entire gym!
football team?:
E-A-G-L-E-S!
soda?:
When I drank soda, it was diet Coke but, I gave up soda two years ago.
time of day?:
Just when the sun is setting.
day of the week?:
Any day I am making gobs of money!

do you believe in...
ghosts?:
Yes. Go here: Ghost Story
life on other planets?:
Yes. I doubt we will ever meet but, there must be someone out there in this vast universe.
love at first sight?:
It happened to me. Which is why I don't allow him in the club. Whenever I see him, my heart jumps just like the first time I saw him.
that there is one person for everyone?:
No. But, God makes 'em and He matches 'em. And boy does He have a sense of humour!
that a guy should pay all the time?:
No. Please. No.
you have to set something free before you know if it was meant to be?:
No.
In abortion?:
I believe in a woman's right to make up her own mind.
in having a plan for everything?:
No. Some of my best work was unplanned!
in helping the poor?:
Do they smell?

questions
what's in your cd player right now?:
The soundtrack to "West Side Story".
crunchy or creamy peanut butter?:
Crunchy.
sunrise or sunset?:
Sunset.
where are you most ticklish?:
There are few who can tickle me.
your longest relationship?:
It lasted almost ten years.
did it result in marriage?:
See next answer.
if you're not married, do you want to be?:
I can not be "married" in these here United States of America, the land of the free and the home of the brave because I am of the homosexual persuasion. I can be "commitment ceremonied" but, only in a few states (Go New Jersey!) and it's not recognized elsewhere. Got it? Good.
describe your current mood:
Frustrated.
one place you are dying to visit?:
That would be Cornwall, England to visit and meet Miss Carberry, who I am just dying to know better, she rocks!
what color are your underwear?:
Currently, green with gray dollar signs on them.
what are you doing this weekend:
"Everybody's working for the weekend"-Loverboy!
your most memorable kiss?:
Joe, my exboyfriend, could make me see fireworks with his kisses. All the time.
have you ever peed in the woods:
Like a bear shits!
fave gum?:
I do not chew on items that make me look like a cow and cud!
fave pie?:
Shoo-fly!
do you have any secrets?:
Plenty. I ain't tellin'!
do you watch mtv?:
Nope. It's no longer "music" television, it's "bad shows from spring break" television.
do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
If only!
are you thinking about anyone in particular right now?:
Always.
toaster or microwave?:
Depends on if I want my children crunchy or warm.
love or sex?:
I prefer love. Sex is just so overrated!
your 1st kiss?:
Boring. I was a girl.
most annoying person?:
The one who made this survey up!
who can you tell anything to?:
Johanna. She and I scheme and plot together so, she needs to know it all!
ever broke anyones heart?:
I have.
kissed someone you didn't know?:
All the time.

are you paranoid?:
No, only when they are watching me!

NJLB...I Mean...ABC Survey (R)

[A]
Are you available?:
Why yes, I am. Who's askin'?
What is your age?: Twenty-nine
What annoys you?:
Currently, my computer, it keeps throwing me off of MSN and AOL.

[B]
Do you know anyone named Billy?:
Yes, my former manager who may rot in the hellish cesspool of his own puss!
When is your birthday?: 15 May
Who is your best friend?: Miss Patti is the bestest and longest.

[C]
Do you have a cell phone?:
Yes. Nextel sucks!
What's your favorite candy?:
M&M's are the best!
Do you have a crush?:
Yes. It's not whom you'd think!

[D]
Do you daydream?: Yes, a lot.

What's your favorite kind of dog?:
Well, I am partial to English Bulldogs. They rock! But, it has to be a dog, not a barking rat.
What day of the week is it?:
Tuesday. All day.

[E]
How do you like your eggs?:
I love them over easy, like me, with a little hot sauce, like me.
Have you ever been in the emergency room?: Yes, for numerous friends. They are accident prone.
[F]
Ever flown in a plane?: Many times, thanks to my great friend La Chunk who gets me going places!
Do you use fly swatters?:
Not many flies on Absecon Island, actually.
Have you ever used a foghorn?: No. Not yet.
What's your favorite class?: Art. I excelled at art.


[G]
Do you wear g strings:
When I am stripping!
Do you chew gum?:
See last survey.
Are you a giver or a taker?: I love to give of myself.
Have you been go-karting?: Yes, actually.

[H]
How are you?:
Fabulous, just ask anyone!
What's your height?:
6'1''
What color is your hair?:
Today, my natural colour of dark red.
What's the hardest thing to do?: Walk and chew gum. Fly without wings. Kiss your elbow. Wash blood out of linen.

[I]
What's your favourite ice cream?:
Ben & Jerry's Two Twisted
What's your best imitation of?:
I do a fabulous Boy George and Barbra Striesand!
Have you ever ice skated?:
Nope, thank the gods!

[J]
Do you wear jewelry?:
Depends on the event. I always have on my star ring that Michael gave me. Never took it off since he gave it to me.
Do you like jumping jacks?: O.K. This is bloody stupid!

Have you ever been to Jamaica?:
No. Bahamas.

[K]
Who do you want to kill?:
...and the list goes on...
Do you want kids?:
As the main course, of course!
Where did you have kindergarten?:
Bellmawr Park in Bellmawr, New Jersey and my teacher's name was Mrs. Vernon. I loved her to pieces!

[L]
Are you in love?:
Yes.
Are you laid back?:
I am easily amused.
Do you lie?:
Like a rug!

[M]
What's your favorite movie?: SW:IV:A New Hope.

Do you still watch Disney movies?:
Yes! I love, love, love The Little Mermaid.
Do you like mangos?: I love the Mango!

[N]
Do you have a nickname?:
Yes. Several.
Whats your favourite number?: "Three, it's a magic number, yes it is, it's a magic number, somewhere in the ancient holy trinity, you'll find three, it's a magic number". Thank you, Schoolhouse Rock.
Do you prefer night over day?: NIGHT! ALWAYS THE NIGHT. THE SUN, IT HURTS!

[O]
What's your one wish?:
A cure for A.I.D.S.
Are you an only child?: Nope, I have a younger sister.


[P]
What one fear are you most paranoid about?:
That they are out to get me.
Have you ever been paintballing?: No, damn!

[Q]
Are you quick to judge people?:
Yes. It's the gaydar, can't help it.

[R]
Do you think you're always right?:
I know that I am always right.
Do you watch reality tv?:
Used to. My life is more interesting.
What's a good reason to cry?:
I have cried a lifetime but, when the vodka runs out, that's the best reason to shed tears!

[S]
Do you prefer sun or rain?:
I like a rainy day.
Do you like snow?:
Bite me.
What's your favourite season?:
Autumn.
Do you play soccer?:
No. Why?

[T]
What time is it?:
It is currently 1:34pm EST
What time did you wake up?:
I haven't been sleeping much, lately but, I believe I offically got up today at 7:30am EST.
When was the last time you slept in a tent?:
I could get real nasty here but, I won't. Never.

[U]
Can you ride a unicycle?:
No. What? No.
Do you use an umbrella?:
Try to, the Atlantic City winds usually make that an impossible feat.

[V]
What's the worst veggie?:
There are no bad vegetables.
Where do you want to go on vacation?:
I want to go to Cornwall, England and frolic on the beach with Miss Carberry!

[W]
What's your worst habit?:
Grinding my teeth.
Where do you live?:
The great state of New Jersey! Now serving civil unions!

[X]
Have you ever had an x-ray?:
Many.
Have you seen the x-games?:
No. Why? No.
Do you own a xylophone?:
I did, as a child.

[Y]
Do you like the color yellow?:
Why not, it's never done a thing to me.
What year were you born in?:
1978.

[Z]
Do you believe in the zodiac?: The one on MSN is usually accurate but in reality, no.

What's your favorite zoo animal?: The great apes. They are fascinating to watch.

01 March 2007

Joke Of The Day (R)

A woman from Atlantic City and another woman were seated side-by-side on an airplane. The woman from Atlantic City, being friendly and all, said:

"So, where are you from?"

The other woman said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."

The woman from Atlantic City sat quietly for a moment and then replied:

"So, where are you from, bitch?"

Eye Chart (R)

Delio came to get me, finally, and off we went to my eye appointment. Once again, the little speed demon had me white-knuckling it. All during the ride, he was on my case, being a smart-ass and getting on my nerves. He knows how to push my buttons. Luckily for him, I was dependent on his chariot services so, I couldn't really fight back, which he knew and took to full advantage. I don't blame him, I give it to him on a regular basis. Actually, every chance I get.

I walk in, fill out the forms and then I'm brought back by the assistant to have usual tests and things they give you, like that annoying air-puff test that always makes me jump. Come to find out, her best friend is a regular at our club so, we chatted about the nightlife and crackheads.

The doctor saw me right away.

You know your eyes are bad when the doctor makes fun of your vision. He did the usual "this one or this one?" and "is this clearer or this one?". Of course, Delio sends me a smart-ass text message right in the middle of my exam. Mi nino malo! The doctor recommended that I get the disposable contacts instead of the daily wear because, and get this, my vision is so bad my contacts will be too thick to allow oxygen get into my eyes. TOO THICK CONTACTS! Now, that's bad.

Hell, if you're gonna do something, do it right, right?

The other problem with my prescription is, they don't carry them in stock at that strength. They have to be special made so, I have to wait until Friday to get them. The doctor was trying to talk me into purchasing glasses but, I told him no way, I'll wear the ripped contact, thank you. I figured he would have told me that my cornea was scratched from wearing it and he didn't so, I must be ok for now.

Paid the receptionist and then we made our way home, once again, mi nino malo making fun of me the whole ride. Funny though how, when we got within the Atlantic City limits, he clammed up and was sweet as pie.

Smart kid. He was about to get a pounding.

Work this weekend was abominable.

I HATE WINTER AND MAKING NO MONEY!

But, at least I met someone. Maybe things are changing.

Doing My Part (R)

O.K. I don't want to jinx this but, well...now that I think about it...well...anyway...ok...let me just spill the beans.

There is a singing/dancing troupe in town at the Tropicana from the show Best of Broadway and they have been coming to the club for the past month or so since they've been here. They are mostly Canadian, from Toronto. The thing is, one of them is just too cute and I finally got up the nerve to...well..."make my move" as they say. We kissed a little, we talked a little, we flirted ALOT. He's the only one from Quebec City (I didn't tell him about my intense hatred for all things French-Canadian. Then again, his tongue was down my throat) but, his lineage is from Sweden and he looks it. Shoulder length blonde hair and those angled Nordic good looks. He's also very bendable, being a dancer. Ahem.

NOTE: As I am writing this entry, he just logged in on MSN Messenger and we are chatting!

He's in the middle of his afternoon show and he had to go back onstage.

To continue, we chatted and flirted, I am going to see the show on Tuesday, I hear it's great. Oh, and I may see him TONIGHT!

The little problem is...HE IS LEAVING MARCH 1st! Just my rotten luck.

Anyway, I think, in the spirit of international relations and civic responsibility, I have to show him the true American way and Atlantic City hospitality and give him a send off that will set a positive tone for when he returns home! Don't you?

You'll be the first to know.