First Posted 25 January 2008

Monkey's Broken Heart (Part 1)

Current mood:depressed

Crying. I spent the last hour or so crying my eyes out. I saw Delio and his sister walking a block ahead of me on my way home today and I just lost it.

Why do I have these feelings? Why am I so damn emotional over that little fuck? Why did any of this have to happen? I was torn between running up to him and hugging the fuck out of him and wanting to beat the living fuck out of him. This can't be happening to me.

I hurt as bad over him as I did with my ex-boyfriend, Joe. I just don't let anyone know it, in my public life. That's one thing I actually kept to myself, even though everyone knows that something bad happened between us, more than the fight. More than that horrible day.

What I think makes my heart break even more, even now, is that I know that he does not care.

I. Can't. Stop. Caring.

It's killing me a little bit more, a little shard of my heart falls away, each and every day.

I can't write anymore about this. It's just too painful. It just hurts too goddamn much.