Crying.I spent the last hour or so crying my eyes out.I saw Delio and his sister walking a block ahead of me on my way home today and I just lost it.
Why do I have these feelings?Why am I so damn emotional over that little fuck?Why did any of this have to happen?I was torn between running up to him and hugging the fuck out of him and wanting to beat the living fuck out of him.This can't be happening to me.
I hurt as bad over him as I did with my ex-boyfriend, Joe.I just don't let anyone know it, in my public life.That's one thing I actually kept to myself, even though everyone knows that something bad happened between us, more than the fight.More than that horrible day.
What I think makes my heart break even more, even now, is that I know that he does not care.
It's killing me a little bit more, a little shard of my heart falls away, each and every day.
I can't write anymore about this.It's just too painful.It just hurts too goddamn much.
I am a life long resident of this little island on the east coast of New Jersey and I am the walking representation of Atlantic City. Which doesn't say much for the city. I'm a professional party guest.