First Posted 20 February 2008

Weekend Warriors

Current mood:depressed

Ahh, a holiday weekend of love and Presidents. And change. This was the first Friday that I performed in Mortimer's Café and it was great! One of the best crowds I have had in a long time, I am glad I'm back on my traditional night (it was great to see you, Denielle and Phillip!).

But I forgot about Thursday, our Karaoke night. That was also quite a hit this week. I had every intention of leaving after my afternoon shift but something made me stay and I'm glad I did, although I hadto stay an hour and a half after my shift because my relief was a bit late. No matter, Miss Patti came in with her worse half and sat and drank, telling me how she was going to make me these fabulous outfits for the next day and trying to get me to be a stripper for her friend's birthday at work. She was being a pit bull about the whole thing. I said "yes" to the outfits and a hearty "NO!" to the stripping. I am no where near the shape I want to be in to even do something like that as a goof, let alone be paid for it (although, I still marvel that in drag, I'll be in a bra and panties on stage but as a boy, I won't take my shirt off in front of anyone!). I sang Karaoke and…well…fell off the wagon, ooo, did I fall off the wagon! I drank and sang and sang and drank, I had a good ol' time. It was a very good turnout for St. Valentine's Day and after Karaoke, I sat and chatted with Manny, a cute little Mexican who is very much in love with me. Of course, all the tongues wagged over at the other end of the bar about little Manny and I. I let them wag, it gives them a life that they don't seem to have, to talk about me and mine. Manny and I shared a taxi home, me to my penthouse, him to his abode and I went to sleep a bit more drunk than I liked.

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I woke up with a huge hangover, which I think is because I hadn't been drinking for more than a week. Miss Patti had text messaged me that she made four outfits for me to wear that night and would ring me later that day. Since I got up late, I rang Miss Patti and text messaged Miss Patti and I rang Miss Patti trying to get a hold of her whilst I got my act together, literally! I decided to do "Aquarius" from the movie soundtrack of Hair, I always do it for both Miss Patti's and Miss Tene's birthdays since they are both Aquarians. I also did "Linger" by the Cranberries because I was feeling a bit melancholy and I just love that song. I decided to finish up the show with the remake of the Prince song "1999" by Adeva, a deep-house music diva from the great state of New Jersey! I rang Miss Patti over and over and realized that I need to bring a few outfits for the show since these four new outfits that she made may never make it there in time for my curtain call.

They didn't.

I was not happy.

Not only did Miss Patti not show up, Miss Tene had to run home because she had root canal surgery earlier in the day and needed to get her medication that she forgot so, both of them missed my performance of "Aquarius".

Nice.

I trudged on through the show, opening with a monologue with a recent news story about this woman in a coma who they pulled the plug on thinking she was going to die and lo and behold, she recovered. My take is; how do you handle telling her that during the holidays? "Hey Gram, remember when we tried to kill you? That was so funny, wasn't it!? Could you pass the cranberry sauce?"

Then after my second number, I decided to go off about the fact my manager chose to have Claudia Dumont as the performer for his birthday this coming Friday. My take (or reading for filth): how nice to have someone who's only been to the club once before (and we had to pay her then to come out) come and entertain for your birthday when she does not even support the club!

Well, that set my manager off (which I had intended) and he took the mic and went on a tangent that was priceless, actually never really answering what I had said, just reading everyone and anyone in the room (or who he crossed his mind, came there or he knew). It was hysterical, mostly because my manager was drunk out of his mind! There's a video of that part of the show that shows me standing to one side and everyone is telling me to get the mic back and I'm waving them off, "Oh no, it's okay, let him go!", clearly lit by the one and only Joey G. Priceless!

Mortimer=Evil!

I then go back to the dressing room to get ready for my last number. Right before I am ready, my manager and Darina Ho came in and began WWE wrestling around the room, bumping into me and the light switch (which I needed to finish up) and the floor. I literally had to step over them to get out of the dressing room and perform my last song.

After, I found that they rumbled all over the place, breaking things and getting hurt. I don't know why they were fighting nor do I know if it was real or for fun. I don't really care. It just makes good fodder for the Café, both here and on stage!

Let me just describe the combatants.

In this corner: Darina Ho, former big girl drag queen who is now a big girl again after a gastric band operation through which she ate her way back to (un)health!

In the other corner: Gidget, skinny and tall drink of water, with a wire thin frame and a drunken misdemeanor.

It was a mismatch from hell. Two queens battling it out in a dressing room/storage area. You gotta love it!

I left about an hour after the show and went home, laughing to myself about the madness of it all!

Saturday came and I didn't feel all that well so, I took my time getting ready and actually went to work a bit late for the first time. Fifteen minutes. No biggie. I was a bit concerned because it started off a bit slow, not good for President's Day weekend. Over at the Studio, this used to be a better holiday than New Year's Eve. Lee had been late as well, she witnessed an accident on her way in to work and helped the victim, and that preyed on her mind all night. The poor girl couldn't feel anything below her neck, her car had been launched into the bay by a drag-racing duo of cars when they hit her.

I had planned on not drinking again. I had been doing good, even with my St. Valentine's Day slip-up.

Then it happened.

I should have known something was going on when my friend came in so late with his boyfriend. They had been to a concert at one of the casinos. Suddenly, Joey G. comes running back to my bar, "Guess who just walked into the bar!?! Sherwood (Junior)!!!"

I was shocked with disbelief!

Miss Tene leans over from her usual perch, looks back at me through the doorway between the bars, and shakes her head, confirming this travesty. I run out to the front bar just to see for myself and there he is, with his girlfriend. I couldn't bloody believe it! The fuck-head that shut the Studio Six, that took a club that was beloved to legions of people coast to coast, had the nerve, the balls, the stupidity to walk into the place where his former staff and customers were now working and playing because of his…his…Arrgh…@^% @!&^* ><"{_), *|][!!@)(!

So, you can see, I was not a happy puppy.

I went back to my bar and contemplated how to handle this situation. Do I go out there and go off on him, leveling all the allegations and pith and vinegar I could muster and shame him into leaving our humble little club and crawling back into the cesspool he lives in? Or do I act professionally?

Ugh! What a horrible dilemma! The first choice was so attractive, so appealing and so seductive. The second was so honorable, so professional and so choke-on-my-own-bile.

I chose the latter and believe me, it took every ounce of acting skill I could muster to smile, act nice and make small talk with this vile piece of trash and his girlfriend (whom I do like). I did what I had to do and then went back to work, trying to forget his presence in the building. Luckily he stuck to the front bar and I didn't have to look at him.

He left after a bit, before I got drunk, good for him. I chatted with my friend, stealing off to the bathroom for a smooch and some heavy petting. He apologized about Junior and the fact he couldn't hang at my bar. I had a few shots, cocktails and then some more shots, to wash away the hard feelings and to placate my anger and indignation.

Lady Labelle did the show and her opening number was fun, I was impressed, something which is very hard to do. The evening did pick up a little bit and I made some money.

Another unexpected series of visits happened when the staff of Maloney's Uptown came in to see us (the rest of the former staff from the Studio Six).

So, I went to Maloney's Uptown after work. It was quite funny that they'd all heard about Junior's little visit by the time I got there. I drank, talked to Brett again about working there (I'm 1 on the list!) and Tara and I made goo-goo eyes at each other! Just kidding. No I'm not!

I got home after eleven in the morning.

Remind me not to drink ever again.

I had promised to go out on Sunday but I stayed in bed and slept off the tumultuous weekend.

I woke today to a misty world here on my little isle and I am not going to venture out until I have to work tonight. Jose asked me to work for him this evening and I welcome the extra day of pay