I saw Rent tonight with Miss Patti.
It was extremely emotional for me. Very heart wrenching. I cried heaving sobs during many of the scenes. I want to say that I had forgotten what it was like, to lose so many friends. To say that I had forgotten what it was like to see how AIDS totally devastates the human body. Beautiful and wonderful people. And how the movie brought it all back to me.
But, I can't. Because I still see it. I see it every day in the faces of friends that I know are a drug cocktail away from dying. Horribly. I see it when I perform at benefits, and see people I know that may not make it to next year's show.
And I still remember, as plain as today, seeing my friends who did die. My God. There is no hope when you watch something like this tear everyone you know away from you. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. It's a wonder I can still function. Sometimes I can't. Sometimes, I feel as if there is no point.
The movie is about hope, though. And how we can overcome.
That there's no day like today.
And maybe that's what gets me through. I don't know. I really don't know.
Somebody has to remember. Somebody has to be here to say THESE PEOPLE EXISTED AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WONDER THEY WERE CAPABLE OF!
It was a wonderful movie. Please go and see it. The music, and the message is about hope. Hope.
Just when you think there is no hope left.
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