20 December 2005

I Hate Florida! (R)

In December! It really is disconcerting to listen to Christmas carols and look at Christmas trees and decorations whilst wearing a T-shirt and sunblock.

(Note: To see the full photos from the trip, please go to our original location Mortimer's Cafe)

The time beforehand getting to the
The Sunshine State, was a study in bad luck and horrible timing. Let's just say, it was the poor tour of our little dividend from Spain. Some of you may have noticed that I haven't written about going out to fabulous dinners and doing the tres chic things I usually am wont to do on a daily basis. The thing is, it's our off season and the club hasn't been doing all that well pre-holiday so, Mortimer is currently beating off the wolves at the door. They are hungry and there's nothing to give them, at the moment.

That being said, I still had a wonderful time in HappyLand. I worked my usual Friday at Babes, and Saturday (14 hours) and Sunday at Studio Six. Funny how every bloody week we would close the club around 3:30/4:00am and the one week I have to go away, we close after 6:00am. I hadn't even packed yet so, I got maybe eight hours sleep in just three days and had to get on a plane to Florida.

Then, we were delayed going down and didn't get to our hotel until very late, like midnight, and to top it off, I had to get up at 7:00am to get ready to meet
Coy for the South Beach excursion she planned for us. This is when I realized I left my charger for my mobile in New Jersey. Nice. Not that I had much time on my phone but, that's another story (see the wolves reference above).

We got up, to much grumbling by La Chunk and myself (I realized I had another head cold, as well. When I blew my nose at the car rental place, I got so dizzy with vertigo, I almost fell over. My ears still haven't popped), and got ready. He was worried that Coy was an Amway representative (they are supposed to be some sort of secret cult) and we later found out that Coy's friends thought we were murdering Sopranos from Joisey (aren't all people from New Jersey mobsters?)! Too damn funny.

She came to get us at the hotel and let's just say, it was love at first sight! LOL!

She is delightful and so charming. A real class act and a wonderful lady. We got along famously, something Chunkie remarked on. It was like we've know each other for a long time. I really love that about J-land.

The water taxi was late (of course!) and we finally got under way, sitting up front out in the open to soak up the sun. I had my sunblock 3000 on just in case. I am an older vampire and can take full sunlight without turning to dust but, you can't be sure where that hateful sun is concerned. And I can't afford the wrinkles. The weather was BEAUTIFUL. A bit nipple in the morning but it warmed up rather quickly. The tour guide was, in a word, incompetent. We hated him right away. He was of my persuasion but, he didn't get the fabulous gene we are famous for. Too bad. So we entertained ourselves and watched all the flora and fauna on the way to
South Beach. Very nice. Once we got there, we did the usual tourist things, eating at Johnny Rockets and wandering down the strip, across the street, to see the famous and fabulous buildings. Coy's entry (Mort was here, the whole story ...) is a bit more detailed. We had a cocktail at the marina and the barwench regaled us with Hurricane Wilma stories. Seems the wooden structure we were under was brand new, Wilma conjured up a water spout that destroyed the old one as well as piling up the cars six high next door at the retirement centre. The return homecaught all of us catnapping, don't let Coy's picture of Chunkie fool you, we all passed out at one point or another. But, I am so glad she got that shot, lol.

Chunkie and I then had to excuse ourselves to prepare the cement for the new shoes for Coy. We are murdering mobsters from Joisey, you know. We said our good-byes, loaded Coy in the trunk and off we went, dumping her out among the 'gators.

How she got out to write her entry is beyond me.

I must once again say, I am so tickled to have been able to meet her. She is truly a nice and lovely person and I am glad to now count her among my friends.

Wednesday La Chunk and I went to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Hollywood to judge a Christmas tree decorating contest with our friend Susan, who is the Director of Special Promotions there. She looked fabulous, I guess having that hunky boy-toy of hers around is doing it's magic. Bitch. We had a ball, some of the trees were quite imaginative, and as "payment" she took us out to eat at Tatu (TATU offers a special interpretation of Asian dishes with Cantonese, Mandarin, and Szechwan, Vietnamese and Thai influences. Featuring an extensive sushi bar, private tatami rooms and a two-level interior overlooking Paradise Lake, Tatu is a great place to dine and party with friends.) It was wonderful. She also got us every dessert on the menu, too fabulous! We had a great time. We were supposed to be on local television. Anybody see us? We said our good-byes and then went out on the town in Ft. Lauderdale.

This is where I got into a fight.

More later...


  1. Okay my eyes are kinda green anyway, but now they are green with envy. The trip sounded and from the pictures looked fab. I of course have been getting wrinkles from sun and snow combined..grrrr. I'm sure the town will never be the same. lol

  2. Damn Yankee, you wouldn't know style if it bit your dick off.