I'm Ugly But, Fabulous (R)

I have decided to keep the Cafe open on AOL. I figured that since I don't pay for the service, I really shouldn't worry about the banner ads (note: I worked for Warner Bros. Studio Stores during the merger with AOL. We got free ISP service for life). I will continue make a statement by not opening the AOL journal to the general public. I don't see the need for the AOL Overlords to make money off of my life. So, I will only give access to J-landers to that journal. I am going to reprint most entries here at the new Cafe (denoted by (R) in the title of the entry). That way, those outside of AOL can read up on my madness. I do like the new neighborhood. Now there are two locations for getting the Cafe experience. I, for one (and probably the only one), think that's a good thing.
Let's see, Saturday. The fireworks never happened. I was not happy. Oh, we got the new list of rules, allright. We are not allowed to drink the alcohol, bottled water or Red Bull. We can only drink what comes out of the gun, the device we use for juices and sodas to mix with the drinks. We cannot comp any drinks unless preapproved by management. I was prepared for all of this, since I had heard about it on Friday. I came in with my own bottle of Ketel One. I figured hey, they think we're drinking the house away, I'll just bring my own, lol. I only drank the tonic that came out of the gun, so I was good to go. Not that they noticed. I was NOT happy. When you are making a stand and they don't notice, it becomes very frustrating. I kept making a cocktail for myself right in front of them and...nothing. DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!
The rest of the evening was a blur. Miss Patti sat there cutting out our VIP cards that she makes for us and drinking a new flavoured rum combination that I came up with. I haven't named it yet. It's rather sweet and fruity, kind of like me (Amy, be nice!). My second cousin, Jade, popped in and stayed most of the night. She may be working with me soon, we shall see. She is also going to New York City for a modeling gig. She'd better, she's ten feet tall and beautiful! It was slow, painfully slow. We chatted and gossiped and did everything we could to pass the time. Shots were done, comped drinks were given out. Water bottles flowed over the bar like...well...water. As usual, everything at that club changes. Everything at that club stays the same. I made not much more in tips, in fourteen hours no less, than the evening before at Babes in six hours. That's a tragic turn of events.
Sunday was rather eventful. You won't believe this, I was given an indecent proposal from Fernando of all people! I am under threat of painful death to disclose the dirty details so I can't divulge the particulars. I can only say, Fernando and I are going to be registered at Tiffany's. Now, after this, I had someone give me a backhanded compliment. He said, "You aren't the best looking guy in here but, you have the greatest personality." The nerve! I wasn't sure how to take that. I refrained from spiking his drink. He gave me his number so...there you go. The rest of the evening had me spending as much time away from the bar as possible. I love my bar-partner, Little Jose, to death but, he tends to get a bit...umm...lazy. I know that it's slow but, every damn dollar counts during the off season. We may not feel like jumping for the smaller crowd but, they are there to have a good time, and we are there to provide it for them. Maybe it's my showbusiness blood, I always treat every time I am on stage as if it's my last. First of all, the people that come to see you want to be entertained, no matter how many are in the audience and second, you never know who is sitting in that audience, it might just be someone with the next job offer. So, as a bartender, you treat a person nice because you never know, you might get a healthy tip from the most unexpected source. I know this is true. I got $100 tip from a horny straight man at a strip club because I showed a little attention and service (although thankfully not the kind he really wanted but, let's not go there). We ended up doing well by the end of the evening. I have some great clientele that comes in to see me during the open bar. They are all in the service industry to they know that if you are getting the drinks for free, tip the bartender well! I met some fun girls from another strip joint and a couple of goth chicks from the Philadelphia area that promised to come back next week.
I came home and immediatly passed out. I live for Coma Mondays!