Post-Bingo Blahs

I am suffering from a serious case of drag-lag, that extreme case of the blahs one can get after a show. You don't want to do anything, go anywhere nor see anyone. Although the show was on Sunday afternoon, it's now Tuesday and I am still out-of-sorts. I ate all the wrong things on Monday, all day Monday, and I'm back on my diet this morning (although I think I inadvertently kicked off an eating frenzy because I am hungry as all hell!).
I also think I am a little down because I wasn't happy with my performance at the Red Ribbon Bingo this month. I am hyper-critical of myself and I know I wasn't up to par. Yes, the feedback has been great, as usual, but I didn't feel the spark I usually get when I'm done a performance. Oh well, you knock one out of the park or you strike out. I think last Sunday was definitely a strike-out where I was concerned.
It was great to have my "family" come and see me, though! Helene, Margo, James, Alvin, Rico, Kyra and yes, even Claudia and Doris were all in attendance and sat right up front. I wish I had done a number for them, it would have been nice to perform but Sandy picks and chooses who does what and I guess I do have the most time on stage (aside from Sandy), being the ball-caller and all. I am seriously contemplating getting more of my drag gear out of storage so I can really do this right. And I need to have more money coming in so I can get new outfits made. Miss Patti and I are dredging up some seriously bad material to make dresses out of and they are not up to my usual standards.

Unemployment put a serious dent in my budget this week, paying me only one of the two weeks I usually get. I have yet to determine why this happened. I logged online as usual on Thursday and got a message that I had to call in my information. When I did, at the beginning of the call the computer stated it was for the two weeks but when I finished entering the information and answering the standard questions, it said a check for one week would be sent to me on Saturday. Of course, I was dealing with a computer so I had no immediate recourse to argue/ask questions/freak out. This has happened in the past but I usually receive a two-week check anyway but, alas, not this time. So, that means I am now SERIOUSLY poor until I get my pay from the bingo gig. Believe me, I am still drawing off of my former salary at the club which was based on my three dollar and fifty cents an hour wage so I get very little to live on each week. Now that I received one of the usual two weeks, I am, in a word, fucked. I'll be ringing them up this afternoon to (hopefully) resolve the situation.

I can't wait to get to the gym today. Even though it's gloomy outside, I am determined to get there and work out. Margo gave me a compliment on Sunday, saying that I have lost a lot of weight since we "reunited" several months ago and that I look good. After thinking about it, though, it may be a back-handed compliment. Does that mean I was fat before? Hmm...I may have to beat her later!
I am happy being back in the gym. I know I keep going on about it but it is my little haven.

Ooo...I think the sun is coming out!!

My clothes are definitely starting to fit better, my jeans aren't as tight and my shirts are snug across the chest again instead of the waist. Yeah, I guess I did put on a bit of weight. Self-denial and rationalization are my mantras. Bad habits I need to break, or at least work on a little more.

I have had some bizarre dreams again, a lot of them about Delio. Why he is on my mind so much is beyond me, we haven't seen each other for nearly a year. And he blocked me from Facebook months ago, for some reason or other, so it's not like I have seen him online, either. I guess there are still some unresolved issues going on there. I do miss him, though, even with everything that happened between us.

My mother is selling her home and getting ready to retire which is giving me pause. Over Thanksgiving, she gave me some beautiful Chinese bowls from a family member who passed away and on my walk to the train through the city, it began to hit me that, eventually, I'll have to deal with...those things you don't want to think about, let alone put into print. And that little incident, coupled with her looming retirement, is making it harder and harder to ignore this inevitable fact of life.

I'll deal with this whole topic MUCH later.

Time for more coffee, a weather check and I'll be right back...

Okay, the sun is hiding once again but the rains seem to have gone and I have a nice fresh cup o'Joe in front of me.

"The View" is on in the background but the bitches are boring today. I miss the Rosie days. She caused more havoc during the "Hot Topics" section then the topics they were discussing. Now, under Whoopie's direction, it's back to boring, predictible, middle-of-the-road topics of discussion.

I guess I should get showered and ready for the gym.