Tough Questions

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Looking into their eyes when they are telling me what they feel. I sometimes think that I would rather be lied to therefore, if I look into their eyes, I will know the truth. The truth can hurt. Badly.
I have been hurt. Badly.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry?

Honestly, when Little Jose betrayed me at work awhile ago (which I wrote about in a past entry). It was over something stupid, I admit but, the underlying currents that it represented and affected will always resonate with me. I have forgiven him. I understand why he did it but, it still hurt. He'll never know just how much. And I don't want him to.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call?

I would call Miss Patti. She has always been my soul mate and I would want her to know just how pissed off I am that I am about to die so...unfabulously! And, I would trust her to convey my wishes of love and farewell to all who know/knew me.

4. You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. (1) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? (2) What do you do with your remaining days? (3) Would you be afraid?

1) I wouldn't tell a soul.
2) I would put things in order, quietly. I would write long, heartfelt letters to my closest friends for them to have after I am gone. I would spit in the face of everyone I have ever wanted to. I would continue to enjoy the blessed life that I have until the last dying day.
3) I would be angry. Very, horribly angry. We are all given the same thing. One chance at life. And now my chance would be over.

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love. Which do you choose?

Trust. I have had love. Trust is better. Way better.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you save the dog?

I want to say I would save the dog but, I really don't know. It's not that I would be afraid of losing my job, I have been fired before so that's not the reason. It would depend on my mood that day, what I am wearing, what time of day it is, and...well...it's only a dog. Pets are like Kleenex, there's always one in the box waiting when you need them. That sounds cold but, unless I can get a good story out of it, I probably wouldn't save the dumb dog.

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?

That depends. If I was just horny and I cheated because I was satisfying a need and I don't want to see that person again, then probably not. If I was cheating and began to develop feelings for the "other" person, then yes, it's best keep things honest and let my significant other know.

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more then just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?

This has happened to me a few times and it's always best to be direct and TO THE POINT. If you are nice about it, you are setting them up into thinking they may have a chance with you and that makes your relationship with them into something neither of you want. I have also been on the other end and believe me, it's no picnic fawning over someone for a long time when nothing will EVER happen.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it?

No. Gregory wouldn't want me to give give up a year of my life so he could suffer another hour with the pain and misery of the effects of full blown A. I. D. S.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

I said this to Little Jose just the other day. I told him that I don't deserve someone as nice as him to be my friend. That I would NEVER want to be my friend. I think I am horrible. In so many ways. I really don't know why people put up with me. I don't think the trade off is worth it. I am not saying this to get people to tell me how fabulous I am, believe me, I have many, many, many faults and they far outnumber any positives you can say about me.

11. Does love = sex?

The best sex I have ever had was with my love. Love does not equal sex, though. Not by a long shot.

12. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company?

I have recently sacrificed myself by accepting a promotion that was in name only, just to help my co-workers. Believe me, I lost so dearly with that decision. So, draw your own conclusions.

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? What did you have to tell the person?

I do it all the time. No, I am not running around being hateful but, if you ask me for the truth, I will give it to you. Both barrels. So, be warned. I recently had to tell my friend to shut the fuck up, I was tired of hearing the complaints, either change your life or live it and to stop bitching to me about it because I can't take it anymore. It didn't go over too well.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?

I tell my friends I love them all the time. They know when I don't love them and I never have to say it. Believe me, they know. Oh...Believe me!

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

My eyesight. Umm...Being blind.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?

I told Chunkie that I love him. He's one of my closest friends.

18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

Two people, actually. Smith & Wesson. O. K. How about Office Joe Falcone. He's my cop friend and believe me, a good man to have by your side in just such a situation. Hell, even if there wasn't a "situation"! He's hot!

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? why wouldn't you?

No. No reason. Just no.

21. You are holding onto your grandmothers hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death?

I guess the baby. My grandmother (neither of them are still alive) would have lived a long life and the baby would just be starting. Then again, imagine the gifts you would get for Christmas for saving the old girl's life.

22. Are you old fashioned?

In a lot of ways. I am very timely, I enjoy technology and current fashions and trends but, I like hand written letters, saying "please" and "thank you" and "have a nice day". I like politeness and courtesy in both speech and action.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

I don't do things in order to get something. I do them because they should be done.

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

It is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. It's true and I am glad that I have loved.

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

What I always say, find the cure for aging. Take the cure for aging.