The Latest In A Long Line Of...

...SURVEYS!

1. Do you tend to rip the paper off waterbottles?
No. There are those at the club that do, I just chalk it up to too many stimulants.

2. If the mob was after you, what would you do?
Well, the only reason that they would be after me is because I owe them money. Therefore, I would use that money to GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE!

3. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?

No. My alarm is on my telly, therefore, I have to get out of bed to turn it off. I actually have three alarm clocks, none of which have a snooze button, on my T.V. in case I REALLY need to get up.

4. If you were given the chance to take care of a monkey for a weekend, would you?
No. I have a monkey on my back. I spank the monkey. You gotta shock the monkey.

5. (I think #5 is MIA.)

6. What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
Making gobs of moolah!

8. If you were being chased by an alligator, what would you do?
That would mean I am in Florida so, I believe I would jump on him, tie him up and turn him over to Karl Lagerfeld and have him whip him into a fabulous pair of Chanel alligator pumps that fit me and then go visit Coy in Ft. Lauderdale area and Michael in Orlando!

9. What is your screen name?
Luvmort. Kinda self-explanatory.

10. What song are you currently listening to?
Nothing. The front windows are open and I hear a lawn mower going across the street and my flatmate is doing dishes in the kitchen.

11. Have you ever passed out from drinking?
Not today!

12. If you caught a significant other cheating on you, what would you do?
I threw the bum out!

13. What time did you wake up this morning?
At seven forty-five a.m.

14. Do you have any cousins?

Several. Second cousins, too. Kissing cousins, not so much.

15. Can you imagine yourself living in a cardboard box?
It would have been better than my last apartment!

16. Who was the last person you talked to?
My flatmate, the world famous, one and only, bestest and greatest, Chunkie Marinara!

17. What is the WORST subject they teach at school?
The Bible. I mean, who wrote that stuff?...wait...who?...God?...really?...are you sure?...oh...okay...umm...shop class. (in the interest of keeping in good with the Big Guy upstairs, I changed my answer)

19. What was your dream this morning?
It had something to do with you and me and a bed.

20. How many times have you seen your favorite movie?
More times than you could count on a calculator.

21. Where was the last place you traveled?
That would have been Florida!

22. How was your past weekend?
Busy and profitable!

23. What is your favorite song?
I am still jamming on "Candyman"-Christina Agui-sumtin'.

24. If puppies stayed small forever, would you buy one?
No. Barking rats are an abomination against nature.

25. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Butter pecan.

26. Ever liked someone that you didn't think you stood a chance with?
Certainly. Always.

27. Do you think you are attractive?
In the dark, I am the best looking person in the room!

28. Is someone on your mind right now?
Yes. And if he doesn't apologize, I will kill him.

29. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Why? What's the point?

30. Do you worry about how you look?
I am gay. It's part of the deal. Vanity, thy name is homosexual! We have to keep up appearances, dahling, to give the chicks good looking escorts to make their straight boyfriends jealous when they get into an argument.

31. Would you ever change for a boy/girl?
Compromise is an essential ingredient to relationships. As long as he compromises, we'll have a great relationship.

32. Pro-life or Pro-choice?
Pro-choice. The other side seems to forget that a lot of women choose to have a baby.

33. Have you ever been on stage?
I live my life on stage but, on Friday, 1 June, I will be on stage in Mortimer's Cafe at the Studio Six in lovely downtown Atlantic City! Ring me for directions and details...

34. Can you whistle?
Just put your lips together...and blow!

35. Would you do anything for that special someone?
I have and I would.

36. Do you know who Stewie Griffin is?
"Your uppance will come!" Amy (River Rat Central) calls me that all the time!

37. Can you say you've never hungout in a parking lot?
You've never hungout in a parking lot. Okay, I said it. What do I get?

38. Do you hangout with more guys or girls?
Depends.

39. Why?
I love ze boys, I love ze girls.

40. Have you ever thought a friend could be more than a friend?
I have and it's happened.

41. Do you like the beach/lake?
I live on the beach overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. So...yes.

42. Do any of your friends annoy you?
Delio, on a weekly basis.

43. What makes you laugh?
I am easily amused.

44. Are you ticklish?
There are a few who can tickle me.

45. Have you ever been in a hotel room with your friends/ opposite sex?
Umm...yes.

Survey Time!

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Nothing since I don't own a car.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
It's been a long time, I don't waste alcohol.

3. What's your favorite curse word?
Cunt.

4. Name one thing you bought today?
Not a damn thing.

5. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Sleeping.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Umm...oh how embarrassing...I was on this damn computer.

7. If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
Colin Farrell.

8. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Let's go play!"

9. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Butter pecan.

10. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Orange juice.

11. What are you wearing right now?
Black T-shirt, black shorts.

12. Last food you ate?
Chunkie's homemade chili! Yum!

13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
No.

14. When is the last time you ran?
Never.

15. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Entirely, the Superbowl

16. Last movie you saw?
"Polyester"

17. Who is the last person you sent a message on myspace to?
I haven't a clue.

18. Ever go camping?
No.

20. Do you like sushi?
Yes.

21. Do you have a tan?
No, as Marie Antoinette said, "If you have a tan, you work in the fields." I don't work in no field!

22. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
I don't drink soda and I don't use straws.

23. What did your last text say?
"R u workin at the rail 2nite? Luv ya mere"

24. Are you someone's best friend?
Yes! And damn proud of it!

25. Where is your mom right now?
Working in the Philadelphia school system.

26.What color is your watch?
Currently, black with a faux diamond skull and crossbones.

27. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
"Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"

28. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Hell yes!

29. What is your birthstone?
Emerald. Green, my favourite colour.

30. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Depends on my timing.

31. What is your favorite number?
"Three, it's a magic number. Yes it is, it's a magic number. Somewhere in that ancient holy trinity, you'll find three, it's a magic number"-Schoolhouse Rock!

32. Do you have a dog?
No. I may be getting an English Bulldog! Hope...hope!

33. What does your first memory of your brother involve?
No bros.

34. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Delio

35. Last phone call?
From: Joey G.
To: Yellow Cab

36. Are you allergic to anything??
Surveys. Achoo!

37. Favorite shoes that you wear all the time.
Black.

38. Are you single?
Yes. Thanks for reminding me that I am alone.

39. Are you jealous of anyone?
Envious, not jealous. There is a difference.

40. Is anyone jealous of you?
Of course, have you seen me?

41. Do you own an ipod?
No, I have something similar.

42. Do any of your friends have children
Yes, new one as of last Friday!

43. What do you work as?
Professional drinker.

44. Do you hate anyone right now?
No. Intense dislike, not hate.

45. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
29

46. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes and Rita and I are going soon!

47. How did you get one of your scars?
Playing "The Floor Is Lava" when I was a child.