Mid Autumn And The Hatefulness Is In The Air (R)

It's always easy to tell that October is over. Yes, that perennial holiday celebrating spooks and witches is on the very last day of the month but, that's not the marker of which I am talking about. It's the mean-spirited, attack-dog political ads that are all over the airwaves, both radio and television. They have also infiltrated my Internet and phone lines as well. I am sure that no matter what market you watch (Philadelphia, my market, is the fourth largest in the country), you are being inundated with these horrific ads showing the worst side of our political parties and our political candidates. Now, one can make the observation that you NEVER hear from these mooks for eleven months and that can be a good thing. Because when you finally do hear from them, it's near constant and full of bile, it's better to get it all in a one month increment. But, that's not what I mean. If they really wanted my vote, if they really want to be my friend, if they really want me to know what the hell they stand for, why don't I hear from them time to time during the year? Why now do I have to hear how fabulous they will be for me as my sheriff/councilperson/mayor/legislator/freeholder/congressperson/chiefcookandbottlewasher and how bad the other guy is going to be. Where the hell have they been all this time and why now do I have to hear this crap ALL AT ONCE!? Why is my phone ringing off the hook like a...well...hooker's? Why is my inbox full of political action flyers rivaling my actual mailbox, which is stuffed with more wood pulp then the New Jersey pine barrens. I actually saw a commercial for a car the other day. I forgot we lived in a consumer society, when the commercials were for something tangible, something we don't need.

I'll tell you one thing, I don't need this hatefulness. But, it seems we got an awful lot of it to go around.

YES! YES! YES!

NEW JERSEY SUPREME COURT SAYS YES TO GAY MARRIAGE!

OH, HAPPY DAY!

GOIN' TO THE CHAPEL AND WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED!

I'm Coming Out! (R)

Today is National Coming Out Day. This day has be set aside for those of us of the homosexual persuasion to announce to all and sundry that we are in fact gay (or lesbian, or bisexual, or transgendered).
My name is Mortimer and I am gay.
My coming out story is rather funny. I was outed by the Philadelphia Inquirer. Yes, the venerable big city newspaper is in the business of outing young homosexuals. Each year in September, we had what had been known as the gay high holidays. Miss America week was always fun and exciting for us down here. I had been out to the world for most of my life but, my family didn't have a clue. Except for my sister, Danielle. She and I went to the clubs all the time together when we were both underage, and when I told her I was gay, she replied, "I know" in the most what-do-you-think-that-I'm-that-bloody-stupid inflection you could possibly muster. My cousin Dawn knew as well. She came out with me to the clubs in Philadelphia when I lived there. It's nice to know they can keep a secret. Well, one year the Miss America organization changed all the rules. This is when they decided to downgrade the pageant and make the contestants more "natural" and "regular" to the viewing public. Big ass mistake but, I digress. I had been doing five shows a week at the clubs in Atlantic City and in various places in the tri-state area. By now, I was very well established in the community throughout the area and very well known as a performer. I had been with my then boyfriend for a number of years, living with his family (in the sin of non-marriage) and things were great. I was working at the The Rendezvous Lounge (which is now Babes, the strip club I work at) and the Inquirer Press was there wanting to interview me about the changes in the pageant. I agreed, I mean, it's the press dahling, we must always agree to meet with the press. Publicity is a wonderful thing, even if it's by association. Since the article wasn't about me, necessarily, I would still get the recognition. They came up to the dressing room, interviewed myself and my guest performers, took some pictures of us in various states of make-up and gowns and were off. Honestly, I didn't give it a thought after that. We were so caught up in the upcoming Miss'd America Pageant that I totally forgot about it.
I was sitting at my home in Margate sewing one of my costumes. I was living with my ex mother-in-sin (since I can't get married, it's not -law), Helene, lovely woman. The phone rang and she came to get me and told me it was my Aunt Janet (she has always been my Auntie Mame) I just knew she would be the first to call.
I get on the phone and she says, "I love you".
I knew just what she was talking about. I replied, "So...you saw the paper."
"Yes," she told me, "and your Mother will be calling you any minute, I just wanted you to know that I love you no matter what."
I had to laugh to myself, I was gay, Aunt Jan, not on death row. We chatted for a few minutes, I told her thank you and she told me how my Uncle found the article at work, brought the paper home and made her read it, without telling her why. She said she was halfway through the Lifestyle section's front page when it hit her. There, on the page in full colour is me, in high drag with accompanying article. The inter-family phone calls started and here we were.
As soon as I hung up, the phone rang and it was my Mother. Yes, there were tears, and "why didn't you tell me" and "what will the neighbor's say" kind of things but, I will hand it to her, she took it better than I expected. I must say, my Grandmother, god rest her, was the most accepting of the whole affair. She told my Mom, "You always wanted him to be happy in his life? Do you think he's happy now? Then get over it. You got what you want." I am paraphrasing but, that was the gist.
Now, when I go to my Mother's home, there are pictures of me and my ex in her livingroom. I told her, I don't want to see them. She replied, "We all have our ex's in this family. You'll just have to deal with it. Join the club!"
Join the club.
Now, I know she was referring the the familial ex-wives club but, I take it as joining the club of humanity. Yes, my life is just as valid and just as accepted. My feelings about my BOYfriend are just as normal about her feelings about her ex-husband, my Father. We are a family and my being gay is accepted and (in the twisted putting-my-ex-and-I-pictures-on-display) celebrated as just as normal and just as valid. We had a Mother's day celebration one year at the club where I had been interviewed for the now infamous article. All of the performers brought their moms and families to the show. It was so wonderful to look out in the audience and see my Mom, my Aunt Janet, and my Nan sitting there, smiling and enjoying themselves.
I love you, Mom. Thanks for not only wanting me to be happy but, making me the happiest person on earth!

It's Showtime!

Thoughts On 11 September 2001

It's morning and I have a slight head cold. It's just bad enough to make me not want to do anything but, not so bad that I want to die. I have to go uptown today to pick up my paycheck, an act of futility because it's all been previously spent. All two weeks of it. This sucks. Rent. Bills. Paying back everyone I owe. The reason why I am so behind is because I lost my shift because of the holiday weekend, the bartending shift that I do on Sundays. This little shift usually gives me the extra cash I need to do the little things so I don't have to borrow money from friends and flatmates. You know, like jitney fare and food and stuff like that. I guess I shouldn't really complain. I put myself in this predicament and I will just have to live with it.
Why did I take this promotion?!?!

The 2,996 Project really affected me. I have avoided the whole anniversary thing for the last few years. It was such a horrendous memory, I didn't want to deal with it. I guess with it being five years, it made a difference. Five years since that day. That memorable day that changed everything about our country. Our lives. I remember sleeping. It had been what I call coma Monday and I was just catching up on my sleep, waking up on Tuesday morning and wondering what I was going to do with my days off. I remember thinking that the weather was spectacular and I was going to enjoy this day off. Then I began to become aware of what was on the television that I had left on from the night before. A plane hit the World Trade Center in Manhattan. Oh. That sucks. I watched for a bit, to see what was going on. Something like that doesn't happen all the time. Good Morning America was covering the incident. Then, the reports started coming in. You could tell there was confusion. A large plane hit the tower, not a small one. That's unusual. Then, I remember thinking, what's going on? I got up and went to the living room, my flatmate, Chunkie is up and watching. I began to discuss the situation with him and then it happened. Whilst watching, a jetliner slammed into the second tower. At that moment, I feared for our country. I knew in an instant that this was no longer an accident. No longer something extraordinary. This was deliberate. This was planned. This was war. War on our soil. War against us. Us! Americans! This was planned to hurt as many people as possible and to make a statement. A statement for all the world to see.

But, that's all I knew. Not the who's, the why's. The rest of the day was one horror after another. The seeming helplessness our country had in dealing with this attack. Our own planes being used as missiles. Genius, actually. Scary, definitely. Then my panic about all those friends who live and work in lower Manhattan. The phone lines jammed. The information coming so haphazardly. The towers falling. One. Then the other. Then another. WTC 1. WTC 2. WTC 7. It was mind boggling. Peter Jennings coming on and, goddammit, making me feel calmer, safer. I will miss that man for his outstanding grace under such unfathomable pressure. But, that day, and the days after, became blurry, disjointed, scary. I finally reached my friends. Jonathan, Andy, the others. They were safe. Scared. Safe. Thank God.

I didn't want to remember feeling the way I did five years ago. I still don't . I wrote that participating in the 2996 Project would be hard for me. It has been. I have cried over my memories of that day. I have felt the fear, hurt, anger that I felt on that day. It is not something I want to feel. It is not the way I should feel. It should not have happened. But, it did. And people died. So many died that day. So many have died since fighting "the war on terror". So, I avoided reading the articles over the years, or watching the retrospectives on the telly. It just didn't seem neccessary for me. Until now. I wrote my tribute. I met someone who died that day and I began to bring up all those memories. The fear. The pain. And now I am adding to that pain something more personal, the loss of someone I never knew. Whom I know. Even as little as I do. My memorial is nothing when compared to the man who died, and I know that. My words do not do him justice. They don't do that day justice.

I guess because there was no justice on that day. And there won't be justice. There never will. Death, needless, useless, wanton and deliberate, is never fair. Is never delt with justice or thought. It's madness and lunacy. It's ugly and pathetic.

It's life. And it sucks.

It shouldn't suck. It really shouldn't.

This is why I have avoided thinking about 11 Sept.

2996 In Memory Of Siu Cheung Wong (R)

  

I sit, contemplating my entry to honour the memory of Siu Cheung Wong, who died tragically and needlessly on 11 September 2001. I read through the biography that I found when I searched through the internet for information about him. I am struck at how, through such senseless tragedy and horror, I now know someone personally who lost their life on that unforgettable day. The testimonies that I read from old schoolmates and friends. I read about his daughter and wife. I read about their first home, right here in the great state of New Jersey. I read about what a special and wonderful person he was. He worked for the American Dream and he died for the American Dream. Our culture, our society, our manifest destiny.
He was thirty-four...my God...he was only thirty-four years old, when his life was lost in the World Trade Center. He was one man. One death among thousands. But, to his wife, his daughter, his family, his friends and, now, to me, he will always be missed just a little more poignantly, a little more sadly, and yes, a little more angrily, whenever this anniversary comes. Because of this senseless act, I will never get the chance to really know you. That breaks my heart.
Siu Cheung Wong, although you have slipped off this mortal coil and have taken the final journey that faces us all, I do hereby leave this entry in your honour, in your name, in your memory.
Maybe, just maybe, my remembrance of you will keep you alive for just a little bit more, so that your beautiful wife and daughter can see your smile and know, that you have touched my life today. And will continue to live in my heart until I join you on that last journey.
I am so looking forward to finally get to meet you, someday in the great beyond, and see that wonderful smile of your's, face to face.
May you rest in peace. May we all find peace.

Did God Free The Jews From Egypt?

I watched a most interesting program on The History Channel about the Biblical Exodus, Moses leading the Hebrew slaves out of Egypt and into the promised land. The program was investigating the problems with the timeline, such as who was pharaoh at the time, and when it actually happened according to the historical records found in Egypt and other places, the plagues and how they happened and if they could happen and the miracle of the parting of the sea and the location of Mt. Sinai where God gave Moses the ten commandments. It even covered the pillar of fire and smoke said to be the personification of God when He wrote the holy tablets. It was quite interesting because it came up with very plausible and probable reasons for pretty much each and every supposed "miracle" that is recorded in the Bible, which is the book of historical record for so many.
First, they covered the timeline, which changed the accepted pharaoh, Ramses, to another later ruler, who's name I'd never heard of. This also coincided with the writings that were found throughout Egypt of the expelling of a sect of Jewish rulers at the same time. In nearby Saudi Arabia, there were carvings that also date to the same time which depict the parting of the sea.
Then they covered the plagues. These were almost compleatly explained by the eruption of a volcano near Egypt, which most vulcanologists agree did erupt at that time and caused earthquakes throughout the Egyptian kingdom, disrupting fault lines and releasing gases which first changed the waters to red. Sediment on the bottom of lakes and rivers contains iron and when it's stirred up by the gas eruptions, it contacted the air at the upper levels and oxidized, much like rust on a car, turning the waters blood red. When this happened, the fish died and the frogs hopped out, causing the second plague. Then, lice, flies and disease happened because of the die off of the fish and creatures that lived in the waters. The final plague, the death of the first born, was attributed to the poisonous gases that came up from below ground, which is common when there are volcanic eruptions. Most of the victims of Pompeii and Herculaneum were killed by the gases, not the lava. The trip through the parted Red Sea was also explained by the volcano and subsequent earthquakes, which lifted the African continental plate thus draining the seas and giving the Moses and the Hebrew slaves passage across the sea bed. Once the tectonic plates settled, the water rushed back to it's previous levels. Using satellite images, they were able to view old lake beds and chart the fault lines which convincingly explained the entire scenario. They even used the first Gulf War to show how the burning oil fields in that area at that time could have been mistaken for the pillar of smoke and fire that was said to represent God in this story set so long ago. Once again, the earthquakes most likely caused an eruption of oil through the crust and it was set on fire, producing what looked very much like what was described in the Biblical text.
Finally, they think they found God's mountain, Mt. Sinai. It's located in an Egyptian military compound but, it has enough grazing area for the animals brought by the fleeing Jews, enough area to house them and the proper religious artifacts found in and around the area and on the mountain itself. They also found a gold pendant (in a museum) which seems to represent the temple where the Ark of the Covenant was kept and the altar where only Moses (among a few others) could go and worship. It sure looked like a representation of the Ark, as it's described in the Bible and the pendant was fashioned by the same tribe said to have made the Ark itself.
I found the entire program fascinating. I have long held that the Bible is a great teaching tool, full of stories steeped in tradition, allegory, common myth, and fact. The last being the loosest ingredient. Now, based on the information gathered by these esteemed scientists, archeologist, scholars and historians, we can dispel the hocus pocus aspect to the Bible and use it as the book of learning about the human condition. Mutual respect for each other and take from it the tools to live a better life, without the magical and mystical voodoo of God that was used by those who wrote it to explain the incidents happening in the world around them that they didn't yet have the scientific knowledge to understand.

I Took The Challenge. Will You? (R)

Dear Connie has thrown down the genteel southern embroidered gauntlet in her entry: #369 I Challenge You.
I took the challenge.
I will post my essay in both Cafe locations when the time comes. Will you take up the cause?
I have just begun my research. I think this will be one of the hardest and most fulfilling things I will ever do. I can't wait.

It's Several Surveys Time!

I apologize for the lack of format halfway through but, whenever I transfer from other journals or MySpace to here, it loses all formatting and I get real over having to do it manually. And yes, I know that you have to use the little eraser icon up at the top of the "Create entry" page but, for some reason I have to do it just to put a space each and every bloody time I wish to start a new line! That sucks! Enjoy the survey anyway:

Whip out your cell...last missed call: Joey G., the lightman.

last received call: Maria, the door whore.

last call made: Lexi, the fired bartender.

last text received: Phil, the former best friend who tries to get me fired.

Current...what channel is the tv on? In eight minutes, it will be on 6.

how many IMs are up? None, I am unloved.

what song is playing? Nothing. Silence is golden right now.

what's on the computer desk? My mobile, glass of iced coffee, papers, a data converter, mouse pad, mouse, keyboard, a file holder, scrap paper for notes, plastic figurines of characters from a web cartoon called Homestar Runner.net, it's Dot Com!

favoritetype of pizza: depends on the shop.

sweatshirt that you own: Dark blue with "NAVY" on front in yellow.

extra class: I forgot, there are a lot of highschool bitches who write these damn things. Sorry, out of school.

football team: I live in the Delaware valley so it has to be the Eagles.

this or that sunrise or sunset: sunset, being a vampire, it makes sense.

pants or shorts: trousers.

spring or fall: fall.

baseball or basketball: baseball.

skiing or snowboarding: Skiing, it looks more glamorous.

real world or laguna beach: The Real World

forks or spoons: Spoons, for...well...nevermind.

beach or mountain: beach, considering I live on one!

other random what's the time? 12:01pm

what's the date? 15 August

what's the day? Tuesday

light or dark out? Light

do you own a washing machine? No, it belongs to my landlord.

do you own over 50 dvds? Hell yes.

do you own more than 5 tv sets? Hell yes.

do you own a toaster? Oven, yes.

what are you wearing? Black T-shirt, plaid boxers, glasses.

what's your favorite color? Green.

who is your idol/hero? People living with A.I.D.S.

how old are you? 29.

40 Things You Might Not Know.

1. What color is your underwear right now? Black and grey plaid.

2. What are you listening to right now?Action news on channel six.

3. what are the last 2 digits in your phone number?12

4. What was the last thing you ate?Devil's food cake with white icing.

5. If you were a crayon what color would you be?Lavender.

6. How is the weather right now?Cloudy and muggy. Not terrible.

7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?Maria, she wanted to know when I was closing the club.

8. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Tits

9. Favorite type of Food?Mexican.

10. Do you drink?Dahling, it's the only thing getting me through this survey.

11. Do you smoke?No.

12. Ever get so drunk you dont remember?It's the only thing getting me throught this survey.

13.What color are your eyes?Hazel.

15. Do you wear contacts?Yes.

17. Favorite Month?October.

18. Ever cried for no reason?No, there's usually a reason.

19. Last movie you watched? "Imitation of Life"

20. Favorite day of the week?Thursday

21. Are you too shy to ask someone out?No.

22. Hugs or Kisses?It's in his kiss.

23. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla, like my sex.

24. Do you want your friends to respond?They wouldn't care. Neither do I.

25. Who is most likely to respond?The one who I copied this from.

26. Who is least likely to respond?Everyone else on my "friends" list.

27. What books are you reading?"Blackwood Manor"- Anne Rice.

28. PIERCINGS?Yes. Ears, nips.

29. Fav. Movie? "Dangerous Liasions"

30. Fav. baseball team?I live in the Delaware valley, the Phillies.

31. Any pets?No.

32. AIM?Yes, I have AOL.

33. Butter, Plain or salted popcorn?Salted, definitely.

34. Dogs or cats?Cats.

35. Fav. flower?Daisies.

36. Have you ever fired a gun?Yes.

37. Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car?No.

38. Right handed or left handed?South-paw.

39. How many pillows do you sleep with?6, that's so gay.

40. Are you missing someone?Hell yes.

YES OR NO

Q1) Given a homeless person anything? Once, my change was jingling in me pocket and bugging the hell out of me so I just gave it to the next lazy smelly alcoholic I saw. Shannon was very happy to have it. She used it for ciggys!

Q2) Spent more than $500 on a bf/gf's gift or a night out? No. Hell no.

Q3) Had sex with more than one person in a day? No. Damn. People do that? Damn!

Q4) Cheated? Yes.

Q5) Dated two people at once? No.

Q6) Actually met someone from myspace that you didn't know before? No, not MySpace but, J-land, sure.

Q7) Failed more than one class? No.

Q8) Took someone's virginity when you weren't a virgin? No. What's a virgin?

Q9) Hooked up with someone from a different race? Yes.

Q10) Ran around naked outside? Yes.

Q11) Scubadived? No.

Q12) Snorkled? No.

Q13) Dated someone you didn't want your friends to meet? Yes.

Q14) Got your stomach pumped, from alcohol poisoning? Dahling, there is no such thing!

Q15) Threw up from alcohol? What a waste!

Q16) Been suspended from school? Yes.

Q17) Kissed someone of the same sex? Being a sodomite, that comes with the orientation.

Q18) Gone Commando? Yes.

Q19) If you're a guy,let a girl paint your toenails? Whatever for?

Q20) Met someone famous? Being famous, we attract each other.

Q21) Saved someone's life? Yes.

Q22) Seen someone die? Too many.

Q23) Killed someone? Slowly. So I could savor the moment.

Q24) Been in a physical fight? Yes.

Q25) Hooked up with someone 10 yrs older or younger than you? And younger.

Q26) Been arrested? No.

Q27) Spent the night in jail? A few hours.

Q28) Been in more than three car accidents in a year? No.

Q29) Had sex outside? Yes.

Q31) Had sex in your house when your parents were home? No.

Q32) Had phone sex? Yes, and computer sex.

Q33) Been turned off by someone's personal hygiene "down there?"Yes.

Q34) Told someone you loved them when you didn't? All the time, it's how I get tipped!

Q35) Had sex somewhere in your high school? No.

Q36) Been in a porn shop? Yes. It's how I make extra money.

Q37) Had a threesome? Yes.

Q38) Spent more than one night in a hospital? Yes. With friends who were dying.

Q39) OD'd on a drug? Dahling, don't do what you can't handle.

Q40) What's your weakness? Ketel One.

Q41) Would you date a Ex gf/bf again (round 2)? In a heartbeat. The bastard!

I'm Gonna Get You! Well, maybe.

You have a 44% chance of going postal!

The chances of a killing spree in your future are pretty low. But discuss any problems you have with a therapist. Or your local barman. Talking about your feelings is very important... well, and emmasculating, but let's not talk about that.

How Likely Are You to Go Postal?
Create Your Own Quiz

Survey Time!

1. Do you say Hi to people you dont know?
It's part of my job but, I am very friendly with strangers. Like is says in the Striesand song, "Hello stranger, goodbye friend!"
2. What is the name of the last person you kissed?
Johanna, when I said goodbye to her on Monday. Now, if we are talking "made out" kissing, then it was Sunday with this Polish guy that comes in the club.
3. Do you still talk to this person?
I will when and if I see him again.
4. Recite a line from a movie."
"No, cruelty. It has a nobler ring."
5. What movie was that from?
From Dangerous Liasions
6. Do you play by the rules?
Almost always. Until people try things. Then it's war.
7. What are you doing this weekend?
Working through our five year anniversary for Club Tru!
8. Do you complain a lot?
Only when I have inept people working with me.
9. Have you ever been to Canada?
Yes. My parents were divorcing and my Father kidnapped my sister and I and took us to the Quebec area. Which started my long hatred of all things French.
10. Do you have a good personality?
I am the most outgoing, nice, accomodating person you could meet. Until you try to fuck with me. Then, the gloves are off and watch your back.
11. What size would you say your nose is?
I perform as Barbra Striesand, what do you think?
12. What is someone's name that begins with the letter A?
Artemis
13. Name someone whose plastic surgery turned out poorly.
Can we talk? Joan Rivers. One more and she'll have a pubic hair beard!
14. Have you ever performed CPR on anyone?
No, but, I have given mouth to mouth to a few boys and girls in my day.
15. Name something that falls from the sky.
Challenger astronauts.
6. Are you polite?
Exceedingly so.
17. Name a TV show or movie that impacted society.
Fahrenheit 911
18. Name a song that has the word 'baby' in it.
"Be My Baby"-The Ronetts
19. Name your favorite Walt Disney movie.
"The Little Mermaid"
20. Have you ever been scuba diving?
See the private Cafe's entry entitled "Just Call Me Sharkbait"
21. Name a profession you would NOT like to have.
OB/GYN
22. Name someone you know with red hair.
Me, naturally
23. Name a popular DJ.
Frankie Knuckles
24. Name something white.
Utah
25. Are you better at explaining things, or performing them?
I live for the stage!
26. Have you ever been to a boxing match?
If you count the fights at the club, then yes!
27. Did you ever stutter, or have a hard time pronouncing?
You can't get me to shut up, usually. Only if I am talking to someone I think is cute.
28. Do you eat out or buy groceries more often?
Where's that take-out menu?
29. What month are many of your friends born in?
Easy, most people are born in September since most people have sex around Christmas and New Years.
30. If you could have been born a different ethnicity, which one would you have chosen?
I think Italian.
31. Name another way to say, "Perfect."
Ketel One dirty martini, up with three olives.
32. Name something you think is disgusting.
The way our national idiot uses my sexuality to divide the nation
33. What is your favorite type of soup?
Tomato
34. Name something that rhymes with the word, "sunny."
Runny.
35. Name a fattening food?
Ice cream
36. Name something that you are just NOT good at.
The piano
37. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
Eight
38. How do you usually say goodbye to people?
Depends on the situation, business like it's "Have a good (time of day)", with friends it's, "Love ya!"
39. Does your license plate say anything on it?
I don't drive, dahling, I am driven.
40. Name a type of dance?
Fox trot
41. Name a type of Martini?
See #31
42. Would you rather do dishes or laundry?
Dishes
43. Did you have braces?
No.
44. Name someone you are really good friends with.
Miss Patti
45. Name something purple.
The people the one eyed, one horn, flying eater eats.
46. What is something good about getting older?
Haven't a clue.
47. And something negative?
Actually, I wouldn't know.
48. Name a song you really enjoy.
"Stomp To My Beat"
49. Name someone with the same middle name as you.
I haven't a clue.
50. Name a really good bar or restaraunt.
The Studio Six (when I bartend of course) and Los Amigos!

Marriage Decision (R)

Amendment XIV - Citizenship Rights. Ratified 7/9/1868

"No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

I was looking over The U.S. Constitution. Interesting reading.
There are a few J-landers that feel that I do not deserve the right to be married, since I am gay but, this is not directed solely at them. This is my journal and I am writing this as a way to put into words my frustration at the audacity of the thinking of those around me who purport to be my friends and family and the demeaning way in which they treat me. I wanted to go on record that I have had enough and I will no longer associate with them. To those of you who have always had the right to marry, who are married and who may marry again, you do not know the utter frustration that we, as gay people, feel when we are told that we do not deserve the right to make it legal to be with the ones we love for the rest of our lives. To be told that we should settle for "commitment ceremonies" or "domestic partnerships". Or to just call it something other than "marriage".
To that I say, FUCK YOU. If I want to get married, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED! Not domestic partnered.
What's next? Separate drinking fountains for us "fey folk"? Should we sit only in the lavender sections of the bus? Are we 3/5th's human?
So, in answer to my frustration, I can not and will not tolerate this thinking from those around me. If you feel that I should not be afforded the basic right to get married (no matter what the moral or religious grounds),consider yourself relegated to second class friendship. You are no longer one of those I will reach out to. You are no longer one of those I will keep in contact with. If I see you, I will be civil. I will be polite.
As I walk by you to drink only from the pink fountains and to use the gay bathrooms.

Drinking Survey Time!

1. Have you ever been drunk? I am right now!2. How old were you the first time you got drunk? The womb. (just joking, Mom!) 3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated? How else do you get cheap and easy sex?4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'? I am guilty as charged. 5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members? Have you met my family? It's genetic. 6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk? Once in a while. 7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol-related crime? No. 8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk? Yes. 9. Ever forgot their name? No. Lies, I have. 10. When was the last time you were drunk? Does now count?11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge? I work in a bar, what do you think? I have been on a binge since the early eighties!12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time? No. I need it to keep the voices silent! 13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated? Red wines. 14. Favorite liquor? Ketel One Vodka!15. Favorite beer? Guiness!16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk? It's better than a hangover!17. Have you ever swam drunk? Skinny dipped at my Aunt's house with my cousins after a few beers. Yes, I was very young, Mom. It's all Dawn's fault!18. What kind of a drunk are you? Happy! Very happy!
19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you? Truth comes out of a bottle. And sometimes, it's real ugly! 20. Favorite drinking partner? Ketel One. 21. Favorite bar? One that serves alcohol and doesn't charge me. That would be my club!22. Have you ever completely blacked out? I have lost moments of the evening. 23. Have you ever puked from drinking? Only to make more room for more alcohol!24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'? No. Thank the gods!25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated? Yes. Making another drink is easy and sex is always an option.26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight? No, I won't spill my martini!27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know? Miss Patti!28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk? Not me. 29. Do you have a drunken nickname? No.30. Have you received a 'booty call'? Yes.
31. Funniest drunken scene in a movie? Why watch people drink when you can do it for yourself!32. Favorite song about drinking? They write songs about alcohol? Really?!
33. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know? No. I hear it's fun!
34. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you? Always. 35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'? Nothing, actually. I usually don't care what's going on and won't let it interrupt my "personal fun". 36. Have you ever dated a bartender or bouncer? No.
37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang, I need a drink"? I would NEVER say "dang". I don't need a drink, either, I already have one in front of me. 38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks? They'd better or I get their ass thrown out of my bar!39. Have you ever drank too much on a date? Date? I haven't been on a date in a long time. 40. Is there anything that you refuse to drink? Not really. Maybe white wine, I got a serious hangover on Chablis once and I still haven't gotten over it. 41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane? I have boarded a plane drunk and on mood altering substances but, I don't get drunk on planes. 42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day? I am drunk right now. 43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind? Dahling, when the cops come, the party gets an automatic "10" rating!44. What's your favorite drinking game? I do not play games with something as serious as alcohol. 45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk? See the next question.46. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk? I slipped on a patch of ice, fell on my back and broke my mohawk. I was devastated!47. Ever been drunk at a concert? Yes, that's why you go. 48. Is this survey getting too long? It was after the first question.49. Are you ready for the last question? What high school bitch wrote this survey?50. Why do you drink? To catch up with everyone else!

The Captain Of My Heart

Sorry!

Once again, I have been way busy over at the exclusive Cafe. See you there for all the latest gossip!

Hipocracy! Again!

Over at AOL News, there is an article entitled "Indonesians Throw Stones at Playboy Offices". Here we go again. Because it offends Muslims, Playboy must shut down! Now, there are millions and millions of people in this little world of ours but, because a MAGAZINE offends a group of those people on religious grounds, we must shut it down and never look upon it again!

Idiocy! These same people kill over cartoons, chop hands off for minor offenses, stone their own family members (usually women, how manly!) over "shaming" them and declare holy wars over deposing a dictator. It boggles my mind that these things occur within the grounds of religion. Not that the Christians are any more sane, you have read my problems about them in the Cafe as well but, come on, people, get a grip. If you don't like it, if it offends you, don't look!

By the way, sales of Playboy are brisk in Jakarta!

Glorious!

The trees are bloomin' idiots!

What a wonderful day in this magnificent world of ours. It was just spectacular! The sun, that ball of burning hydrogen is just beaming down on our little earth which is revolving around it due to the force of gravity, or has the religious right debunked that theory as well? I mean, it wasn't until a few years ago that the Church apologized for jailing Galileo for his heretical views that the earth revolves around the sun. I know, I know, why would "God" make the earth, the centre of all creation revolve around a mere star? Heresy, I tell ya! Heresy! Far be it from me to go against the teachings of Mother Church!

Next up: Gravity! It just don't stick!

Anyway, I had a wonderful time walking around town and visiting my friends and...others. I stopped in my office and did some scheduling changes and got some notes to discuss the upcoming meeting I called. We have some issues that need addressing so, I conferred with my GM and set up a mandatory meeting with the club staff. On my way home, I stopped by Evo, my old job and chatted with everyone there. They were so nice to compliment me on my recent promotion. I was very humbled. I hope that I can live up to the praise of my friends that work there. I once again had to wander the streets since the sun was so bright. I know I have a little sunburn on my pasty white vampiric skin! Darn!

Tonight it's Thursday and that means back to work. I am going to eat a little grub, digest and then go to the gym before I have to go to work.

Oh Happy Day!

I am doing a Snoopy dance right now! My 401K check came. This account was opened in 1987 and I had totally forgotten about it. It's been a long time waiting for this cash! Woohoo!

What to buy!

I Created The Universe!

It really boggles my mind. Honestly. With all the overwhelming evidence, there are people in this country, intelligent, reasoning people who still believe that some force created the entire universe and the earth on which we live. It's amazing that the numbers bear out that quite a lot of Americans believe in this hocus pocus. It's sad, really, that we continually attempt to force our SCIENCE teachers in schools to teach this magical process. I keep waiting for the "ta-da" girl to be standing next to God, waving her arms over His latest magical feat! Boom! Light! Drumroll...Eden! Twirl that baton...Flood! It makes no sense. Logic flies out the window. I keep hearing that it's "faith". You must have faith, Mortimer. Believe in God! He wants you to love him. He loves you!

Pardon me but, this "God" created the universe. Does "He" really need all that worship from one little human that "He" can wipe from all memory and history with nary a thought? Think about it, just one little thought and "He" created everything we know and see. I couldn't even measure how little I matter to a being that powerful.

No wonder "He" never answers my prayers. Do you listen to the ants under your feet. Think about it, "He" may have created us in his image but, we can't even comprehend the mental powers "He" commands. "His" very thoughts are action. Unless you're Uri Gellar, you have no concept of having your thoughts control the very fabric of the universe, a universe that you created with a mere thought, one day out of the blue. Hmm...I'm bored, I think I'll create a universe and a bunch of little worshipers on a world to kill each other in my name and praise me because I have such low self-esteem issues I need constant reassuring like a small baby!

By the way, it took "Him" one day to make the universe but, five more to make the little ol' earth. That's a bit odd, doncha think?

It's hocus pocus! Abracadabra! Boom shanker!

Bullshit!

An Actual Entry And An Apology

I just got back from the gym and boy do I feel great. I kept the weight levels up but, there were a few things that I needed to pull back on, I just couldn't do it. Dorian and Miss Patti were with. I must say, Dorian is looking great, I am a little jealous. It's the same problem I had with Little Jose, they are shorter than me. I have noticed that shorter guys develop quicker. I am stronger than Dorian but, he just looks so much better! Ugh! Oh well. That's why I am in the gym. Not for others, for myself. I am looking way better than I have a year ago.

I have gotten a little feedback about not posting in this forum. You see, I use the other Cafe for venting about personal things. The people who read it are those I trust compleatly. I am very sorry if I have offended people who read this Cafe but, I got burned by some people I work with who used the things I wrote to get me in trouble. I will not have those so-called former friends access to something that can do me harm. I found out that my trust is too compleat with certain parties and I got hurt. Badly. To this day, I am still deeply hurting over what was done to me. Now, only those whom I have had a long relationship with, and those with no ties to anything around me are allowed to read the flagship Cafe. I will take great pains to write in here more regularly, about the club and my life. I have been remiss and I do apologize for that. I hope everyone understands.

Tomorrow, I have a few things to do, laundry, office, work. I can't believe that I went from working three days to doing forty plus hours. This is nuts. It's much more than a full time job but, I love it. The owner pulled me aside and complimented me. He said the staff was thrilled that I was promoted and he thought it was a good choice as well. That made me feel great.

I think I'll put on a movie and do some laundry. I am on an endorphin rush and I know I'll never get to sleep for hours!